Tag: leadership

Poetry Today

Toxic Leadership and Membership Retention Go Hand-in-Hand

Paragonwords

One of the hardest truths to face in any organization is this:
when leadership turns toxic, membership begins to erode.

It’s not ego that drives people away.
It’s exhaustion.
It’s the emotional weight of trying to serve beneath someone who confuses control with leadership, intimidation with accountability, and fear with respect.

A healthy leader understands that the heartbeat of any organization is its people.
Their willingness to serve, their passion, and their sense of belonging are all directly tied to how they are led.
When that leadership crosses boundaries, belittle, overthinks and induced chaos; when communication becomes condescending, decisions self-serving, and conflict resolution nonexistent, people naturally pull away. It’s not because they don’t care about the mission, but because they can no longer function under the dysfunction.

Toxic Leadership and Membership Retention Go Hand-in-Hand

The tragedy is that toxic leaders often misinterpret this withdrawal as ego or disloyalty, when in truth, it’s self-preservation.
No one wants to volunteer their time, heart, and energy in an environment that drains rather than develops them.
When leadership fails to recognize that they are the common denominator in the toxicity that is deeply rooted in the organization, the organization loses its roots.
And when the roots rot, the whole system begins to wither.

If leaders want to retain their members, they must start with self-awareness and self-evaluation.
They must ask:
Am I creating a space where people feel valued, or a space where they feel small?
Do my words inspire service, or do they silence it?

Leadership is not about power. It’s about people.
And if the people are leaving, it’s not their ego that needs examining, it’s the drama, negativity and the environment that’s pushing them away.

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Know the signs of toxic Leadership; here are five examples:

Image over impact
Public praise, donations, and recognition matter more than real help. Decisions prioritize optics, not outcomes.

Silencing dissent
Questions get labeled as disloyalty. Staff or volunteers feel pressure to agree, stay quiet, or leave.

Control masked as mission
Leaders use the cause to justify micromanagement, guilt, or overwork. Boundaries get framed as a lack of commitment.

Boundaries crossed, loyalty mistaken for friendship
Personal access is expected. Saying no feels like betrayal. Loyalty is rewarded with closeness, not respect.

People-pleasing and paranoia-driven behavior
Leaders pit people against each other, manage through triangulation, and assume others are talking or plotting against them.

If you recognize these patterns, seek support. You are not obligated to stay in an environment that harms your well-being, even when the mission is labeled as good. Service should not cost your dignity, peace, or health.

You can still make an impact without remaining in a toxic organization. Consider connecting with local businesses, community leaders, or city officials to serve your community in healthier, more transparent ways. There is more than one path to meaningful service, and you are allowed to choose the one that protects you.

Until next time; be good to yourself!

Poetry Today

Why At First, I Give People the Benefit of the Doubt.

Paragonwords

One thing I’ve learned in life is this, I cannot build my opinion of someone based on what other people say about them. Whispers are slippery. Stories get bent out of shape. And sometimes what people project onto others has more to do with their own bias than with truth.

That’s why I always choose to give people the benefit of the doubt.

When I meet someone, I give them space to prove who they are. I ask myself, is what I heard true? Was it exaggerated? Was it taken out of context? Or did someone use their own unconscious bias to create a version of this person that isn’t real?

For me, nothing tells the story more clearly than how someone shows up in their daily life, through their actions, their choices, and most importantly, the way they treat people. That’s where their real character reveals itself.

But here’s the part where I stand firm, the moment you prove that the warnings were true, the moment your behavior confirms the very things people told me to watch out for, that’s the moment I walk away. No hesitation. No second guessing.

I refused to stay in toxic environments, around toxic people once they reveal their true self and I can see it with my own eyes. Toxicity is contagious, negativity breathes conformity and small-minded people always reveal themselves in the end.

Because here’s the truth, one person can be wrong. Two people can exaggerate, but when multiple voices start to align and my own experience confirms the pattern, that tells me everything I need to know. At that point, I don’t need more stories or explanations. I’ve seen enough for myself.

And so, I choose both, grace in the beginning, and boundaries in the end.

I want to know who you really are, not just who others say you are. But once you show me your true self, I believe you, and I adjust my place in your life accordingly.

That balance keeps me grounded. It keeps me from judging unfairly, and it keeps me from staying in spaces where I don’t belong.

It’s never your friends, the organization or the majority that’s toxic; Most times it’s the people entrusted to lead, who forgot that power and trust is a privilege, not a weapon to use against others.

Until next time! Take care of your hearts my darlings!

Nikki Sterling @paragonwords